I am Not a Team Player

[shanmonster]

When I got to the employment office, my counsellor discussed the importance of having a résumé tailored to a particular type of job. She also talked about the different sorts of résumés.

After a little while, when she asked me about my past work experience, I quirked an eyebrow and mentioned I used to teach people how to write résumés. I could see she didn't quite believe me. I then handed her my current résumé, telling her it was tailored specifically for retail positions.

She took it from me, and by the look on her face, I know she was looking for something to criticize. But then a look of surprise crossed her face and she said, "This is good."

"Well, I do have a lot of experience," I said, "both in retail and in résumé-writing."

She then asked me about my education and past non-retail experience, so I ran through the catalogue. "I have very broad experience. I've done everything from shovelling crap at horse ranches to editing newsletters to entertaining crowds to designing corporate websites to radio broadcasting. I write, I paint, I model, and I teach, but I can't write music to save my life. In the volunteer sector, I've worked for literacy programs, done fund-raising for numerous charities, and hosted and produced documentaries. I'm a Jane of all trades, basically."

"Then you must have a lot of transferrable job skills." She then discussed the possibility of including a list of transferrable job skills at the beginning of a résumé: terms like "go-getter," "good communicator," and "team player."

I looked her square in the eye. "Do you really believe including a list of buzz words will increase my odds of obtaining a job?"

"Yes," she said. "Employers are looking for people with these skills."

"As a one-time employer, I can tell you I ignored phrases like that on résumés. In my opinion, they are buzz words with little meaning. They're the sorts of things everyone includes on résumés and in job interviews. Personally, I'd much rather see evidence of such skills in their past work or volunteer experience than a list of employment clichés."

"Er, well, yes, those sorts of skills do show in personality. But it doesn't hurt to have in included in the résumé."

"I don't know about that. I consider it filler. I think the space would much better be used listing concrete things like typing speed, languages spoken, or certifications."

She then went on to talk about the importance of being a "team player."

"I'm not a team player," I stated.

She stared at me like a penis had just protruded from my nose.

"Don't get me wrong. I can work with other people. However, my best work is done on my own with minimal supervision. I like to get feedback when it's necessary, but otherwise, I work best without distraction. So if I were to write 'team player' on my résumé, I'd be lying."

No wonder I can't find a job.

Comments

[elanya.livejournal.com]

You should have asked her if she was speaking from personal experience :p

[ltmurnau.livejournal.com]

Part of my job is that from time to time I get to screen stacks of resumes from students looking for co-op (like an intern) jobs. I flick right past those little buzzwords and phrases, though the more of them I see occupying on a resume the more annoyed I get.

What I look for is a clear explanation of what they did in a previous job, how it relates to the job they are looking for (also shows how well they researched it), etc.

And I like your comment about not being a team player - I wish there were more like you.

[albtrss.livejournal.com]

Team work is meant to diffuse the talent, and make it seem like you've got fewer schmucks as employees, methinks?

[ltmurnau.livejournal.com]

spreads blame and increases deniability, me thinks.

[kamomil.livejournal.com]

At my job, we have actual teamwork happening; we all do different tasks, have different skills, and all need to work together, and for the most part, we do. If anyone slacks off or has low standards, it is annoying. Everyone knows their role and it is mostly a routine every day, so that helps a lot.

However those crap "teamwork" assignments from school, where a task that one person could do is divided up amongst a team, but one person ends up doing the work, I always dreaded those.

[miraba.livejournal.com]

I think you'll appreciate this short story (http://www.jenniferpelland.com/fiction/teamplayer.html).

[ltmurnau.livejournal.com]

I like! Here's an interview (http://www.islandnet.com/~citizenx/intvw.html) one.

[aberrantmist.livejournal.com]

I've looked at my share of resumes, and you're right those "buzz words" get ignored. I glance over a cover letter and usually wince. My favorites are the ones that say they left their last job due to "personal problems". *shakes head sadly* A great expression that just sends the application to the garbage.

Personally, I would take a few less "team players" for one or two with great work ethics and an ability to take charge (ie. non-team players)

[goth-hobbit.livejournal.com]

Gaah. The more employment buzzwords I hear, the more I want to move myself, and a few other like-minded souls, to some remote-yet-pleasant part of the globe, and declare ourselves the Keepers of the Asylum.

I honestly think that the reason so many managers are (supposedly) hung up on the concept of the Team Player is because this particular breed of manager wants to see its collective self as the Coach. I'm not sure how it is in your neck of the woods, but in many boardrooms across the US, you can't swing a cat without hitting a sports metaphor.
Of course, past a certain point, the metaphor breaks down entirely. People don't actually work together; they're isolated in little padded cubicles, and everybody works like mad to make sure that the the job that's lost is that of the guy next to them, and not their own. Part of being a "team player" is an inability or unwillingness to see through the fallacy.

Needless to say, those with reasonably well-developed b*lls*it detectors don't make good team players. But we're the ones who actually get things done while everybody else is too busy being unable to make an independent decision.

Team Player

[sorceror.livejournal.com]

Actually, somebody told me once that in some job interviews, "team player" is a trap. If an interviewer asks whether you're a "team player" and you say yes, they interpret it as meaning that you lack the initiative needed to work on your own. So if the job is one that has little supervision, team playerhood is a strike against you.

What you're supposed to say is that while you're able to work with others, they really just tend to slow you down (because you're so good at working independently, you see). Which is essentially what you said. So you have that one covered!

Or so I've heard.

[momentsmusicaux.livejournal.com]

"In my opinion, they are buzz words with little meaning. They're the sorts of things everyone includes on résumés and in job interviews."

I agree entirely. And I'm sure that *good* employees think like you do, and would rather see evidence of those qualities from previous work, or from meeting the candidate in an interview.

[vureoelt.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's craptastic. I know what you mean though... I regularly refuse to "play the game" so to speak... I think that may be in part the reason for the difficulties I had before I found my current job.