I am Not a Team Player

[shanmonster]

When I got to the employment office, my counsellor discussed the importance of having a résumé tailored to a particular type of job. She also talked about the different sorts of résumés.

After a little while, when she asked me about my past work experience, I quirked an eyebrow and mentioned I used to teach people how to write résumés. I could see she didn't quite believe me. I then handed her my current résumé, telling her it was tailored specifically for retail positions.

She took it from me, and by the look on her face, I know she was looking for something to criticize. But then a look of surprise crossed her face and she said, "This is good."

"Well, I do have a lot of experience," I said, "both in retail and in résumé-writing."

She then asked me about my education and past non-retail experience, so I ran through the catalogue. "I have very broad experience. I've done everything from shovelling crap at horse ranches to editing newsletters to entertaining crowds to designing corporate websites to radio broadcasting. I write, I paint, I model, and I teach, but I can't write music to save my life. In the volunteer sector, I've worked for literacy programs, done fund-raising for numerous charities, and hosted and produced documentaries. I'm a Jane of all trades, basically."

"Then you must have a lot of transferrable job skills." She then discussed the possibility of including a list of transferrable job skills at the beginning of a résumé: terms like "go-getter," "good communicator," and "team player."

I looked her square in the eye. "Do you really believe including a list of buzz words will increase my odds of obtaining a job?"

"Yes," she said. "Employers are looking for people with these skills."

"As a one-time employer, I can tell you I ignored phrases like that on résumés. In my opinion, they are buzz words with little meaning. They're the sorts of things everyone includes on résumés and in job interviews. Personally, I'd much rather see evidence of such skills in their past work or volunteer experience than a list of employment clichés."

"Er, well, yes, those sorts of skills do show in personality. But it doesn't hurt to have in included in the résumé."

"I don't know about that. I consider it filler. I think the space would much better be used listing concrete things like typing speed, languages spoken, or certifications."

She then went on to talk about the importance of being a "team player."

"I'm not a team player," I stated.

She stared at me like a penis had just protruded from my nose.

"Don't get me wrong. I can work with other people. However, my best work is done on my own with minimal supervision. I like to get feedback when it's necessary, but otherwise, I work best without distraction. So if I were to write 'team player' on my résumé, I'd be lying."

No wonder I can't find a job.

Comments

[ltmurnau.livejournal.com]

spreads blame and increases deniability, me thinks.

[kamomil.livejournal.com]

At my job, we have actual teamwork happening; we all do different tasks, have different skills, and all need to work together, and for the most part, we do. If anyone slacks off or has low standards, it is annoying. Everyone knows their role and it is mostly a routine every day, so that helps a lot.

However those crap "teamwork" assignments from school, where a task that one person could do is divided up amongst a team, but one person ends up doing the work, I always dreaded those.