In the News

[shanmonster]

Penguins' pooing powers revealed: Prodigious penguin poop propulsion. Apparently, if people wanted to fling feces as far as a certain caterpillar, the shit would hit the fan a good 250 feet away. Holy shit (thanks, Miss Wurzel Todd)!

Student Caught In Racial Controversy: Get this--four students have been suspended for their part in nominating an African-American student for an African-American award. The catch is the African-American in question is white. Goddamned political correctness can bite my zitty arse (thanks, Rev. Dead Corpse).

Inmate charged in Pennsylvania spork attack: Let's just think about that title for a while, shall we (thanks again, Rev.)?

Too well-dressed to be abused: " A Moroccan man had been released after a Spanish court ruled his wife was too well-dressed during the trial to be a victim of domestic violence, news reports said yesterday." Yeah, that makes sense.

Doctors Remove Woman's 175-Pound Tumor: Here's my favourite sentence: "The lack of the tumour really suits her." I'm sure it does.

One-eyed goat draws stares from amazed locals: " Some community members suggested the goat might have been the result of an act of bestiality. Said one: 'We've never seen anything like this before. There are many immoral people who think nothing of raping toddlers, so why not a goat?'"

Comments

Ah, Ms Monster,

[montecristo.livejournal.com]

Once again your amazingly quirky sense of humor has made my morning! Thank you. Whoever would have thought that penguins were even better than humans at shooting the shit? I'll bet more of them get invited to parties once the word gets out. I am also on the same page with you on political correctness. Such Orwellian hypocrisy is disgusting. It's not about skin color though, is it? Feh. Leftists. The spork article reminded me of the Monty Python skit where Cleese is teaching some other guys "How to Defend Yourself When Being Attacked by a Man with a Banana." As for the goat article, wouldn't you just hate to be a one-eyed man living in that town?

Re: Ah, Ms Monster,

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

Glad to oblige!

I had egg salad for lunch and chili for supper, yesterday. I'm going to see if I can beat the penguin's record.

Re: Ah, Ms Monster,

[montecristo.livejournal.com]

It's good to see that the new migraine meds are not disagreeing with you, or have you started on them yet?

Re: Ah, Ms Monster,

[f00dave.livejournal.com]

Hasn't started them yet, but this morning (after taking a half a pill of her usual Propranolol) she was *very much* perkier than she's been in years. I noticed the difference, even if she didn't, and, as predicted, about an hour after taking her morning pill, she got all low-energy again. I want my wife off these fucking pills.

I don't know that I want my wife on the new ones, though. We'll see.

I understand completely

[montecristo.livejournal.com]

Crystal has thyroid problems. She's worked a long hard time to get her meds just right and her energy levels have done the same whack-o kinds of things. I used to worry alot (and sometimes damn it, still do). Good luck to you two.

[glowkitty]

where do you find this stuff? you have made my morning.

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

Here and there. I have a couple of news lists and email groups I habituate. Plus, a few people send me links as they find them, so I guess I have my own volunteer reporters.

[chrysippvs.livejournal.com]

That cyclopean goat gives me a good excuse to use the word 'cyclopean' in a non-architecture context. Thank you.

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

You're welcome!