Can't Say That Hurt My Feelings, Lady.

[shanmonster]

Every now and then, someone tries to insult me by referencing my size.

Usually, they roll their eyes and tell me to eat a sandwich. This does bother me a bit. For several years, I was underweight. It took me years to build up muscle so that I was no longer a rack of bones. I think it's just as offensive to tell a thin person to "eat a sammich" as it is to tell a fat one to "lay off the bonbons". It's one thing if you ask someone if they think you're too thin/fat. But it's entirely a different thing when it comes unasked, and I find it particularly rude when it comes from a stranger.

Last night was different. It wasn't just my size that disgruntled this woman: it was my level of fitness, as well. I was getting a t-shirt, and the woman behind the counter asked me what size. I told her a small, and she rolled her eyes. Then she said, in a tone one might use if you saw someone peeing on the floor, "And I see you biked here, so you can take your sized small shirt and bike home again," and she laughed in a way to her co-worker that I think was equivalent to her eye rolling.

I guess I chalk it up to jealousy. The only thing stopping her from getting in shape is her own bad attitude.

I can't say I'm the slightest bit ashamed of being someone who bikes everywhere. And neither am I ashamed of wearing small clothes. I have large t-shirts, too. Can't say I'm ashamed of those, either.

I am, however, ashamed of that woman's bad manners.

Comments

[mysteryelfx.livejournal.com]

My husband is 116 lbs and 5'6" tall. I'm 5'5" tall and about 135 lbs. He eats all the time. He eats cheese and tortilla chips with hummus every night at midnight, then goes to bed. He doesn't gain weight. Has an extremely high metabolism. He tries to gain weight, but can't. He found out he is gluten-intolerant in October, and has lost weight since then by not eating gluten.

Small people sometimes can't help being the size they are. People are ridiculous. Some people have to have something to be annoyed about, and they will pick on just about anything.

[mystress.livejournal.com]

What a jackass to make that comment. Sounds like pure jealousy.

[badrahessa.livejournal.com]

i second this - very very jealous - what a bother !

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

O_O

Wow. WOW.

I'd have asked for a little conversation with her manager.

Oh my god.

[silverfae.livejournal.com]

Amen, sistah.

I used to be appalled at bellydancers who were oh-so-inclusive of bigger gals and careful to use euphemisms like "goddess-sized", meanwhile they thought it was quite alright to laugh and tell me I "have nothing to shake."

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

"goddess-sized"

I fucking hate that term. Not that it's any news to you.

[valkryor.livejournal.com]

I'm not terribly fond of it either; not all of us fat chicks like being given backhanded compliments comparing us to the Waldorf Venus. :P

[mysteryelfx.livejournal.com]

So, how to refer to larger women without offending them? I would never say "fat chicks".

[valkryor.livejournal.com]

Ask what they want to be called. I tend to not get offended if someone calls me fat (I am), even if they're trying to be insulting.

[zydee.livejournal.com]

I say "big girl" when referring to myself, but if I refer to others, I'll say "large lady" or something as neutral as possible. I usually don't refer to people's size at all, though, unless directly asked. "Goddess-sized" is a horrible term in every direction, but the one that really pisses me off is "curvey". I rationalized that one for myself too, but now that I look back on what I really looked like, the "curves" in question were sausage-shaped, not hourglass!

That clerk was absolutely horrible, though. I'm shocked Shan took that shit from her.

[silverfae.livejournal.com]

By name? *g*

[mysteryelfx.livejournal.com]

Roya, that's not really what I meant. But I understand what you are saying. I'm speaking in generalities, rather than specifically.

I make clothes, so sometimes referring to larger sized people more generally is necessary. I always find it slightly awkward when I have to talk about 2X and 3X sizes. I dont want to offend anyone.

[silverfae.livejournal.com]

I know, I was being a smartyass. I'll smack my own wrist now.

I use "big" or "large" if I really have to be size-specific for a general description.
Although it's rather amazing that this b*tch Shan is talking about managed to make "small" into an insulting term. I suppose ti's all tone and context.

[superdaintykate.livejournal.com]

Ahem. I think you might mean Willendorf? Unless said Venus is constructed of apples and walnuts :)

[valkryor.livejournal.com]

Dur. I was heading out the door and reached for the wrong "W". :P

Although apples and walnuts could make a pretty fair representation of the Willendorf Venus. *ponders*

[badrahessa.livejournal.com]

hehehehe - that would make a cool art project :)

[silverfae.livejournal.com]

I'd have to agree, and who's to say what constitutes the average size of a true goddess, anyway?

[valkryor.livejournal.com]

Jealousy is an ugly ugly thing. She wants what you have but can't/won't/isn't able to get to that point so she takes it out on you.

[beah.livejournal.com]

My sister was always a very skinny, tall girl, and I was appalled at how many people asked her if she had an eating disorder. Likewise, my boyfriend is naturally thin and strong, like you, and even in his 40s gets shit from people about it, though at least he doesn't get picked on in the school yard now.

I didn't really understand it until I lost a lot of weight and people started saying unbelievably rude things to me about that, but our bodies really aren't private at all. At least we can behave as we wish to be treated, though, huh.

[dark-phoenix54.livejournal.com]

And you bought the t-shirt instead of telling her to shove it up her ass???

Wow. You have a lot more self restraint than I do.