I'm having a slow and lazy day, so far. I wanted to go to the gym, but I think I need to not, because I fucked up my shoulder pretty good the other day while horsing around. Ouch ouch ouch. I think a visit to the RMT is in order. I think I pulled something in there.

Link time? Well, sure.

The 25 most epic ads that aren't '1984': While I question the use of the word "epic," there's no denying these ads are pretty darned cool.

Facebook, a Placenta and a Lawsuit: I really don't understand this one. Some students post pictures of themselves with a placenta, and get kicked out of their program in college. I could perhaps understand if the pictures showed the students snogging with the organ or some such, but they don't. Weird....

Girl gang's grip on London underworld revealed: I rather think it was more of a women's gang than a girl gang, but the story is very compelling. It's about a women's guild of thieves that operated out of London from the 1700s through to the 1950s. Very interesting!

Nurse Sues Doc After Bizarre 'Job Interview': "A nurse claims the chairman of a hospital's surgery department injected her with 'truth serum' during a job interview, then 'pulled his pants down ... and injected himself in the groin area,' proceeded to ask her about her sexual fantasies, and offered her $1,000 to strip."

Is Wool the New Latex?: NSFW. Holy moley! Check out these HOT "erotic" knit onesies. Bwahahahah! No, this is not why I learned to knit, but I am halfway tempted to make one of these outfits just for shits and giggles. Mostly giggles.

Crochet Daisy Headband: I'm pretty awful at crocheting, but this project looks simple enough that maybe, just maybe, I can make something that's not fugly. Maybe.

Porn, recipes found on Toronto's dead drop: "Whenever I think of two people secretly exchanging information, I envision money bags left behind loose bricks and secret documents hidden in a hollowed out book. As it turns out, this method of sharing information has a name - it's called a dead drop." Now I want to find it!

The Authentic Knitting Board: Oh, this looks a lot more versatile than the Knifty Knitters I've been using. It's adjustable! I want some! Especially some for socks. I really want to make socks....

Argentina's Dancing with the Stars Is Pretty Much Straight Up Porn: NSFW. Sex dance, I guess. Definitely a step up from standard grinding and dirty dancing.

Aerialist AgentRed recently fell during a performance: this performance, actually, although the fall is not in this video clip. If you can afford it, donations are being sought to help with her hospitalization and surgery.

Some day, I'd really like to have a Christmas tree. I didn't ever have one growing up, of course. About three years ago, snowy_kathryn had hers set up here, but that's the only time I ever had one. Unless you count the time I once decorated a houseplant with disposable pink razors. I may be no Martha Stewart, but I do get a kick out of decorating trees. Maybe it's because it's still a total novelty for me.

...

I think this octopus is just the cutest thing I've seen all day.



See it and other nifty critters at Ten Weirdest New Animals of 2010: Editors' Picks.

The bad-ass of the week award goes to Gaius Marius, who was one cantankerous SOB.

f-words from plantagenet-era england: I think some of these should reenter common parlance.

Oriental Costumes: Their Designs and Colours: Good historical costuming resource.

All right. Back to proof-reading I go....

So I won't be going to the Epica show. The powers that be did not rain down upon me the money I am owed. But, I did get more proofreading work today, so that's a blessing. A bit of a mixed blessing, alas. I was just getting my writing groove on when the work came in. So, screeching halt to creativity, and hello money-making grind.

I'm thinking of taking a one-off dance workshop in a style I never wish to use professionally: striptease lap dance. Why? For the curiosity of it all, really. For so long, I've been studying a dance which I do not perform in a sexual way, but has sexual overtones for the average viewer. Yeah, belly dance seen by western audiences as hoochee coochee. So I'm curious to see what a dance is like where the desired effect is the erotic in nature. I'm curious to see the physical differences (contact notwithstanding). And yes, I know I do burlesque, too. But still, no contact, and the stuff I do is pretty darned light and not at all overt.

Link time, and then I'm back to proofing.

Body Scanner Operator Caught Masturbating at Colorado Airport: The tone of this article makes me question its veracity. But I think masturbating to those xray images is about as lame as masturbating to scrambled French cable channels, where if you squint a little, you can kinda sorta see a boob amidst the static. (Edit: Yep. It's a parody site.)

Health Check: The boy who was raised a girl: Sometimes it is nature over nurture. Personally, I think this article is also another example of why circumcision is a terrible thing to do to a baby.

Yesterday was my first full workout since I was sick, and it was brutal. Several times I was so tired and sore and discouraged that I just wanted to come home and lay down. But I didn't. I stuck it out, even though it took me almost twice as long as usual. I didn't lower any of my weights, though I teetered and tottered on the edge of failure. And afterward, I sat in a massage chair and got it to work at the many knots and kinks in my back and legs. It helped a little bit. I'm glad I finished the workout. The next one should be easier.

While I was doing my bench dips, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and saw my lats popping. It gave me enough of an energy burst that I finished my sets with shorter rest breaks than for my other exercises. Yay for randomly appearing lats!

This morning, I was corpse-like in my sleeping. I don't remember hearing f00dave leave, and normally, I'm an extremely light sleeper.

Odd factoid: When it's really windy, the water level of my toilet is sucked down very low. It is really windy today.

I'd like to do some writing today. I have some ideas that need to be jotted down.

Link time.

Hand-Build an Earth Sheltered House For $5,000: Very cute Hobbit-like house. I have to wonder how drafty and mouldy it is, though.

Damn You Auto-Correct: This made me laugh until I cried. Snot and tears everywhere. Still, I kept laughing. And I laughed until I farted. Finally, I stopped reading, because I was afraid I might die.

Ky. Man Forced To Eat Own Beard: Everything about this story is made of the most awesome kinds of lameness.

Using lights to turn buildings in Derby into art works: Incredible light shows, but I have to say I'm glad I don't live in one of those buildings. Those lights would drive me crazy shining in through my windows.

I suspect I may be the only one in my peer group who does not like Russell Brand, David Bowie, and/or Eddie Izzard. Well, I don't mind Eddie Izzard, but I just don't find him funny at all. If Wikipedia didn't lie about him, I am impressed, however, by his marathon record. 43 marathons in 51 days last year? With only 5 weeks training, and no previous history as a runner? Incredible. But I still don't find him amusing.

I taught a fitness class at 6:30 this morning. It was a brutal series of calisthenics, and I'm impressed by the women who have the wherewithal to work so hard at stupid o'clock in the morning. I worked them hard. Really hard. I hope I didn't scare them off. I teach the 6:30 am class again on Monday morning.

I taught a dance class at 6:30 this evening. Yes, two classes, 12 hours apart. It's much easier to teach two, or even three, classes back to back than to split them before dawn and after dusk. Oy. I'm pooped. And I have a workout and a class to teach tomorrow, too. And another on Friday....

I put in my application for the dance scholarship today. I sure hope I get it. If I do, I'm going to be seriously busy all winter. I miss regular dance training. I miss learning new things. If I get the scholarship, I'll get some significant physical and intellectual challenges. No, I won't be mentally-challenged, smart-ass. Pblt!

The proofreading job continues. I plug away at it. I have no comprehension of the topic I'm proofing, but I can tell if it's grammatically-incorrect, or if it has typographical problems. And so I keep plugging away at it, and the salary helps fill the money hole.

I'd like to make an outfit like this, except I'd do something different with that top. It looks like it would chafe horribly. And it's really not very flattering. But the rest is cool. I especially like the patterned greaves. But I'm gonna be so busy, I won't have the time. CLONE ME!

Link time.

The McGurk Effect - Horizon Is Seeing Believing?: When senses conflict, sounds change because of what you see.

Modern art was CIA 'weapon': "For decades in art circles it was either a rumour or a joke, but now it is confirmed as a fact. The Central Intelligence Agency used American modern art - including the works of such artists as Jackson Pollock, Robert Motherwell, Willem de Kooning and Mark Rothko - as a weapon in the Cold War."

His Face All Red: I like this bit of sequential art. Nice horror storytelling.

My dance performance on Saturday night went over very well. I'm looking forward to seeing video footage so I can critique myself mercilessly. Now I'm working on familiarizing myself with the music for my next performance in November, and figuring out what the heck to do with it. It's extremely different from anything I've ever performed to before, and rhythm and melody don't really enter into the equation. Also, I only have 60 seconds. Tricky, tricky, tricky....



Tickets are available now. 60x60 will be a really unique show. Please come check it out.

I spent yesterday with knightky, and walked his damned legs right off him. Poor guy. But we did get to see the Terra Cotta warriors exhibit at the ROM, which was interesting, but, I have to admit, a little disappointing. The pieces they showed were remarkable, but I didn't get the sense of scope I was hoping for. There were only a half dozen or so of the soldiers, and a couple of the horses. I felt far more overwhelmed by the huge lineups to see the things than I did by the artifacts themselves. I will, however, admit to being taken aback by the collection of ancient Chinese dildos. These were ostensibly only used by women, because apparently, Chinese men had no use for such things back then. Pfft.

Later, we found a playground sized for adults on a back street behind the Toronto public library, and had lots of fun playing on the springy seesaw. I love those things! There should be more playgrounds like that everywhere. I know we're not the only grown-ups who like playing on such things.

In the evening, I went to see Gary Numan. Nash the Slash opened for him. I was under the impression I was the only one in the audience who didn't like him. He had his face wrapped all in bandages, just like thirty years ago. And he wore a white tuxedo with a white top hat. It is definitely a unique schtick, but I just cannot get into his music. I didn't really like him when I was a kid, either. Ah well. At least I could sing along with his closing song, "Teenage Wasteland." I overheard someone in the audience positing that he could very well be a member of The Residents. Yes, I suppose so.

It was a much older audience than I'm used to seeing at shows. I'd say 2/3 of the audience was my age and older. There was no mosh pit. Hehehehe....

Gary was awesome. His band was really good, too. The first half of his show was all early stuff. Although I'm fonder of his later music, I gained a fresh appreciation for his older compositions when I got to see/hear them live. The audience nearly lost their minds when he started playing "Cars" and "Down in the Park."

He did a three-song encore, ending with A Prayer for the Unborn, which is about the saddest song ever, and not the sort of thing I want to cheer all frenzied-like for.

I feel a pretty strong connection with a lot of his lyrics. I think he perhaps shares the darker part of my brains.

Link time.

Equus: This is playing in Toronto next month. It's one of my favourite plays, so I'd really like to see it. Wanna come with me?

Shopping for Zombies: This is not the store I would have figured would do this....

Bacon Lube Taste Test: It's bacony.

adieu canaille: NSFW because of roto-boobies. Surreal fembot-type stuff, with burlesque spinning action (thanks, balthcat).

Student Hides Rick Astley's Song In College Paper: I used to write secret messages like this all the time, but I have never attempted rickrolling like that.

Crocodile on plane kills 19 passengers: I feel bad for laughing. Really, I do. But motherfuckin' crocs on a plane!

Republicans Oppose Franken on Rape Legislation: When the reputation of big business is considered legally more valuable than egregious human rights violations. Disgusting.

Transcending the Material: Knitted skeleton (thanks, longpig and elanya)!

I was all set to do a full day's work of proofreading, but the files I need aren't available, so that will have to wait. Instead, I've been getting caught up on my housework. Oh boy! Excitement!

As you may be aware, I'm in the process of eliminating as much plastic use as possible from my life. I'm trying to eliminate as much disposable product as possible. My current conundrum is this: how do I keep my bread from getting stale? I'm thinking of a bread box. I am presuming that what I need is airtight, since unwrapped bread gets all hard and crusty, which is fine for croutons, but not so amazing for sandwiches. What options are out there? Any ideas? (Just in: this suggestion for a homemade one).

Also, I have several small-mouthed bottles from flavoured vinegars and such. I'd like to reuse them. Do you have any recommended recipes for sauces or such?

I've yet to tackle the plastic-free soap/detergent container issue, but it's been noodling around in the back of my mind. Tricky, tricky....

I did make one victory with the local health food shop, though. I can bring in my own containers to purchase bulk foods there, and they will weigh the container first and deduct that from the final weight, so I can purchase products without using plastic. Huzzah! Also, they sell quite a few locally-made products in glass containers rather than in plastic. I'll be getting my milk and yoghourt there, from now on. It comes from local dairies, and the bottles are all reused. So once I'm finished one jar of yoghourt/milk, I wash it out, bring it back, and get more. I like that I'm supporting local farms and reducing waste all at the same time. Huzzah! Plus, it just tastes nicer, in my opinion. Win, win, win....

I am also discovering it really isn't so very necessary to get my groceries at big grocery stores. For the most part, I can get what I need at local shops as I need it. There are several excellent bakeries nearby for when I don't have time to bake my own bread. The local drug store sells quite a few basic groceries, the Asian market has a good selection of produce and fish, the Hasty Market sells halal meats, the health food shop has locally-grown produce, tea, baking goods, etc., and Bargain Bargain has a few things, too. And I get my amazing freshly-ground coffee from a local coffee shop. There is also a farmers' market on Saturday mornings, and when I'm actually in the city on weekends, I go there to get pretty much anything else that's not covered by the other shops. I rather like shopping a little bit every day or so, buying things fresh and as needed. It's rather soothing, in a way, and certainly more pleasant than fighting for pole position in busy grocery store queues.

I'm nervous about my upcoming dance performance on Saturday. f00dave agreed to be my assistant, but he took a nasty spill off his bicycle last week, and I really don't think he's going to be able to help me. Poor Dave. He has pulled muscles, and possibly a cracked rib or two. If I have no one to assist me, my performance idea loses rather a lot of oomph. Damn it. It's so hard to find people to work with. Maybe I smell bad or something. It's a good thing I'm fine with being a soloist. I just need someone strong enough to drag me around a bit without hurting themselves. I'd do it myself, but I have yet to figure out how to make my own clones.

I haven't even put any thought into my dance performance coming up in mid-November. I'll start thinking about that next week, once this show is out of the way.

It looks like I'll be teaching "kickboxing" classes. Basically, they'll be more like mixed-style basic martial arts for fitness classes. I begin training to teach these classes this Friday. I'm pretty excited about it, really. I may not be taking any martial arts classes at the moment, but this gives me a way to get back into practice while testing my technique and teaching skills all at the same time. Plus, I'll be helping people get fit, and I'm all for that. My new belly dance classes start this week, too, at the same gym. I really hope this flies. I intend on making this class more rigourous than the class at the senior citizens' centre. So there will be a lot more emphasis on getting up and down off the floor, and working core strength more extensively. Oh yes. I want to make these people (and myself) work, and work hard. It will be good.

I went larping this past weekend, and when the event was over, I started horsing around with some of the guys. One of the men is very small, and the bigger guys were playing catch with him. I joined in, catching and tossing him easily. I also picked up knightky and piggybacked him at a slow jog, which seemed to surprise rather a lot of people. I'm a lot stronger than I look. Hehehehe....

That being said, I must get to the gym today, at some point. My muscles demand their exercise.

Link time? Sure.

Love Bites Choker: I can't decide whether this is awesome or cheesetastic. Either way, I kinda think I want one.

ARKONA - Liki Bessmertnykh Bogov: I really enjoyed this pagan metal music video. It's very refreshing to see a frontwoman not covered in crazy makeup. She reeks of awesome, and her traditional Slavic costuming is fantastic. I really want to make an outfit like that. Plus, she's an excellent growler (thanks, alagbon).

Cute Handmade Zombie Hat: I really do like this.

BPA declared toxic in Canada: Right after I decided to reduce the amount of plastic in my life, this announcement was made. I'm very curious to see how this effects food packaging in Canada, plus food importing.

Mexico’s Creepiest Tourist Destination: Island of the Dolls: I absolutely adore this, and if I still lived in the forest, would be tempted to make a little area similar to it.

Drug addict has vasectomy for cash: A friend of mine wants sterilization, but the doctors say he's too young. I suggested he go to the UK and become a crackhead, because then he'll get paid to get the snip.

I'm up early. Too early. There is a zombie walk today in Kitchener, and I want to be in it.

But before I start dressing the part, I'd like to clear my tabs. Ah-ah-AH-AHCHOOOOO!!!!!!

Mortiis releases 'Perfectly defect' album for free !: Freaktastic Mortiis is putting out a new album tomorrow, and he wants you to download it. Who are you to thwart his wishes?

Mummy Makeup: This looks fabulous. If I could find a makeup artist willing to volunteer to do me up like this from head to toe for my dance performance on October 23, I'd be very happy!

The Perfect Human: This guy runs marathons every day and they barely wind him. I want to manage comparable feats. This is just incredible. And look at him, too. Holy cow.

Can Your Heart Stand the Shocking Facts About Bukkake Rulers: NSFW. Ew. And wtf (thanks, balthcat)?

Processed Meats Declared Too Dangerous for Human Consumption: "Processed meats include bacon, sausage, hot dogs, sandwich meat, packaged ham, pepperoni, salami and virtually all red meat used in frozen prepared meals. They are usually manufactured with a carcinogenic ingredient known as sodium nitrite. This is used as a color fixer by meat companies to turn packaged meats a bright red color so they look fresh. Unfortunately, sodium nitrite also results in the formation of cancer-causing nitrosamines in the human body. And this leads to a sharp increase in cancer risk for those who eat them."

European Beard and Moustache Championships: A fabulous photo essay of participants.

Die Antwoord - Evil Boy: NSFW. Die Antwoord's new video blows my mind! I am in freaky love. The lyrics may seem bizarre and homophobic, but they're really, really not. Just say no to forced circumcision.

Nose-Shaped Bathroom Soap Dispenser: This is hilarious!

An Erotic Vibrator Chess Set? An Erotic Vibrator Chess Set.: I just don't understand.

Harvest Apple Cake 1932: This vintage recipe looks delicious.

Pumpkin Chili: And this recipe looks yummy, too.

Fig & Strawberry Tart: And this one looks like a piece of delicious art.

The job search continues. Today's crop of offered jobs include:

- attractive ladies needed for exotic massage.
- "classy" ladies needed for an escort service.
- Actress needed. Here's the description: "My moneyshot with your mouth and that's a wrap. The set is portable, so can be shot anywhere. No crew. Intended for distribution, but not for sale."

I guess it's good to know I won't have to starve to death, as long as I'm not not averse to getting strangers' spooge all over me. Oy.

While knightky was here this past weekend, he saw an optometry shop is hiring, so I'll do up another resume and take it there.

We also went to see the play Dangerous Liaisons in Stratford. It was the first play I've attended in about four years, and it was excellent. If you can get to Stratford, I very much recommend it. The acting, blocking, direction, lighting, EVERYTHING was spot-on. Unfortunately, the fog machine made my lungs spaz out on me at the very end, and it felt like someone was sitting on my chest and jabbing my lungs with itty bitty needles. I wish fog machines wouldn't trigger my asthma, but they almost always do. Sigh....

Today is housework and gym day. Yup yup. And since the weather is cooling off, I think I just might start running again. If there's anything left of me after my workout, I'll start today.

I realized a while ago that this Thanksgiving will be the first one in over ten years in which I will not be making a feast. That's rather depressing. I *like* making feasts. So I think I might go to the Kitchener Zombie Walk, instead. If I'm lucky, I'll feast on brains and get myself one of those trendy prion diseases. Wanna come with me?

In other news, I am now officially a Nerd Girl Pin Up. I'll keep you abreast of when I get my photoshoot.

Link time.

Vampire Cookies: I hate making rolled cookies, but might make an exception for these.

Dolphin species attempt 'common language': "When two dolphin species come together, they attempt to find a common language, preliminary research suggests."

Teenage girl can only control rare brain condition by digesting her own spinal fluid: Well, that's certainly enterprising. I hope she's not vegan. Hehehehe....

NASA and NSF-Funded Research Finds First Potentially Habitable Exoplanet: Fascinating!

Possibly the creepiest and most disturbing charger cable: If it weren't for the irritating noise it makes, I'd want one.

The Sqweel Vibe: Bizarre-looking sex toy. It might be the best thing ever, but only in the dark, man. Only in the dark.

Tiny Tomato Sauce: This looks delicious, and I'd like to try it out. I'll betcha it would be nice on steamed quinoa.

Zombie-Killing Chainsaw: Purtiest chainsaw I ever did see.

Last night I attended a "Webinar" for a potential job. It ended up being a pyramid scheme for a Slimfast-like product, so I bailed. One of the boasts of the company is that it's product is good for you because it's "all-natural." Well, sorry, buddy, but all-natural does not equal good for you. Just ask Socrates about his all-natural hemlock smoothie.

Today I applied for yet another customer service job. So far, no luck.

I'm going to go in to a gym that opened not too long ago, and while I'm getting my free one-week pass, I'll ask if they are interested in having dance classes taught there. It's worth a shot.

Tomorrow, I want to try making vegetarian Boston baked beans in the crock pot. I'm using this recipe.

Apropos of nothing, I have noted that comments in LiveJournal are, for the most part, more thought-out and less reactionary than those on FaceBook. Why is this? What is the difference in the demographic?

Link time? Why, yes.

7 Reasons the 21st Century is Making You Miserable: This makes a lot of sense to me.

TasteSpotting: Foodporn (thanks, Syndi).

Wrong bra gets lawyer barred from visiting her client: So many levels of horse shit.

Elmo Attacked At Guitar Store: "The Winter Park Police Department broke up a fight Saturday after a man attacked another man who was dressed as Elmo."

The Could-Have-Been Facebook Love Story: "There’s something kind of sad about this video which shows how electronic conversations discourages all traces of spontenaity from human interactions. Don’t you agree?"