shanmonster: (Zombie ShanMonster)
I can will my mind to make things work in opposition to their nature.

Sometimes I lie in bed with my eyes closed, and it seems my bed is facing the opposite way, or that the room itself has flipped around. Or maybe it's me that's flipped around within my body, and my feet are where my head should be and my head is where my feet should be. I concentrate on this sensation, and I can spin myself around, whirling quickly or slowly until I open my eyes and I am once again lying down exactly as I went to bed, with my head on my pillow and the window on the correct side.

Several years ago, I had a regular modelling gig for an art class. The studio for this class was cold. Not chilly, or tits-a-bit-nipply-breast-get-a-sweater but cold. Something must have been wrong with the heating in the room. We could all see our breath. The artists wore their winter jackets, and some wore fingerless gloves. As for me, I wore not a stitch. I didn't even have a spot heater. So while the artists stood around, rubbing their hands together every now and then to warm them up, I held perfectly still and perspired.

How was this possible? Through concentration. I imagined that the prick of cold against my skin wasn't cold, but the feel of sun on a hot day. I wasn't freezing. I was on the cusp of a sunburn. While I kept this focus up, I didn't feel the cold at all.

Of course, once the poses were over and I had to come back to the real world, the sensation of heat went away, and I bundled myself in blankets and drank hot chocolate to keep warm.

I knew I could do this temperature change thing ever since I was about fourteen years old. Not interested in any of the suggested biology projects given by the teacher, my lab partner and I came up with our own. I'd read somewhere that Tibetan monks could keep themselves toasty warm in the Himalayas in situations where other people would freeze to death. They did this through meditation. So our project was this: could I increase the temperature of my hand measurably just by willing it so?

I would choose whether I wanted to increase my temperature or maintain it, then write this down. My partner did not know if I was trying to increase or maintain my temperature. I held a thermometer in my hand, and my partner recorded the starting temperature. Some time later (ten minutes, I think), the temperature would be recorded again, and my partner would mark down if she thought I'd tried to increase it or keep it the same.

I no longer have any of the records, but I do remember that I was able to consistently increase the temperature in my hand by a few degrees by willing it so.

I considered this to be a useful transferrable skill, and tried to find other ways to apply it. The first way was by stopping my nose bleeds. In my teens, I often had sudden, violent nose bleeds which would gush for a rather long time, and without warning. I always used to squeeze my nose and tip my head back to stop the bleeding. But I wondered what would happen if I willed the nose bleeds to stop. It sure would be nice to have shirts without blood stains.

After a bit of practice (which the frequent nose bleeds accorded me with), I was able to stop the nose bleeds almost immediately after they started.

Once I got out of my teens, the nose bleeds went away, and I no longer had any obvious reason to use my mind over matter skills. I forgot all about the meditation.

But then I got migraines. These weren't normal migraines, with pain. They were made of flashing lights, confusion, hallucination, and partial blindness. For a few years, I relied on varying degrees of medication to get them under control. The side effects, however, grew worse than the problem itself, and after a bit of arguing with my doctor, I finally got myself weaned off the pills. I thought of my almost-forgotten trick of mind over matter....

It was difficult to concentrate on the blindness and confusion disappearing, when the strobe lights and confusion attempted to thwart concentration on anything at all. But I kept working on it, and eventually, the blind spots would shrink. Each morning, before I got up or opened my eyes, I'd concentrate on making the blindness and confusion shrink and shrink. I couldn't do it all at once. I had to choose a "corner," and start from there. When I was on break at work, I'd sit in a quiet area and concentrate more. And I'd do it again at night.

It didn't work perfectly. It didn't work consistently. But it did work better than the medications had, and it didn't have any side effects.

Now, I don't believe that this technique will work on everything. Not at all. It doesn't seem to help me very much with menstrual cramps, for example. However, I believe we have more control over our own physiology than we might suspect. It's not automatic, though, or at least not for me. It requires a huge amount of undisrupted concentration.

As for now, I use it while doing physical training. I find it makes a big difference to not listen to music and to not watch the tv, but to listen and feel for what my muscles are doing, and to concentrate my attention there. How about you? Do you do something similar?

EDIT: If you've never attempted this, here's the simplest experiment I can think of using the same principles. Imagine your nose is itchy. Keep imagining how itchy it is. Eventually, your nose will be itchy. I used to use this in figure modelling, too. No, not to make parts itchy, and not even to make parts stop being itchy. I've never been able to completely remove and itch through concentration alone. But I can move it. Let's say I'm holding a pose with one hand on my butt, and the other away from my body. I get itchy on my belly. It's driving me bonkers, but I don't want to break the pose, so I will the itch to keep sliding along my belly, wrap around my waist, and then creep down my butt to where my hand already is and can scratch without breaking the pose.

Job Sauce

Oct. 4th, 2010 01:23 pm
shanmonster: (On the stairs)
The job search continues. Today's crop of offered jobs include:

- attractive ladies needed for exotic massage.
- "classy" ladies needed for an escort service.
- Actress needed. Here's the description: "My moneyshot with your mouth and that's a wrap. The set is portable, so can be shot anywhere. No crew. Intended for distribution, but not for sale."

I guess it's good to know I won't have to starve to death, as long as I'm not not averse to getting strangers' spooge all over me. Oy.

While [ profile] knightky was here this past weekend, he saw an optometry shop is hiring, so I'll do up another resume and take it there.

We also went to see the play Dangerous Liaisons in Stratford. It was the first play I've attended in about four years, and it was excellent. If you can get to Stratford, I very much recommend it. The acting, blocking, direction, lighting, EVERYTHING was spot-on. Unfortunately, the fog machine made my lungs spaz out on me at the very end, and it felt like someone was sitting on my chest and jabbing my lungs with itty bitty needles. I wish fog machines wouldn't trigger my asthma, but they almost always do. Sigh....

Today is housework and gym day. Yup yup. And since the weather is cooling off, I think I just might start running again. If there's anything left of me after my workout, I'll start today.

I realized a while ago that this Thanksgiving will be the first one in over ten years in which I will not be making a feast. That's rather depressing. I *like* making feasts. So I think I might go to the Kitchener Zombie Walk, instead. If I'm lucky, I'll feast on brains and get myself one of those trendy prion diseases. Wanna come with me?

In other news, I am now officially a Nerd Girl Pin Up. I'll keep you abreast of when I get my photoshoot.

Link time.

Vampire Cookies: I hate making rolled cookies, but might make an exception for these.

Dolphin species attempt 'common language': "When two dolphin species come together, they attempt to find a common language, preliminary research suggests."

Teenage girl can only control rare brain condition by digesting her own spinal fluid: Well, that's certainly enterprising. I hope she's not vegan. Hehehehe....

NASA and NSF-Funded Research Finds First Potentially Habitable Exoplanet: Fascinating!

Possibly the creepiest and most disturbing charger cable: If it weren't for the irritating noise it makes, I'd want one.

The Sqweel Vibe: Bizarre-looking sex toy. It might be the best thing ever, but only in the dark, man. Only in the dark.

Tiny Tomato Sauce: This looks delicious, and I'd like to try it out. I'll betcha it would be nice on steamed quinoa.

Zombie-Killing Chainsaw: Purtiest chainsaw I ever did see.



May. 15th, 2009 12:48 am
shanmonster: (On the stairs)
I'm in a tizzy getting ready for the LARPing this weekend, and with dealing with all sorts of non-LARP-related nonsense. Gah. Too much stress, all around.

But then I got a copy of this photo, and it made me feel better.

Yeah. It's me with a great rack, courtesy of Tanya Marie Smith. Enjoy.

shanmonster: (Tiger claw)
Last night at Mugshots Noir:

[Mugshots Noir]

Today after acro-yoga. I flew! Man, am I ever shagged out now, though.

[My bandanna is gother than yours]
shanmonster: (On the stairs)
[Beaded dress]

I think I'll wear this gown to the Mugshots Noir event tomorrow night.

[Mugshots Noir]

Start Time: 30 January 2009 at 21:00
Location: Rum Runner (Walper Terrace)
1 King Street West, Kitchener

Dan Forsey’s digital art exhibition of KW’s finest mugs

Also featuring art noir from:
Kate Georgina Cox
Tanya Marie Smith
Sarah Kernohan

Mug Models: Cristina Stanciu, Devra Golden, Douglas Morton, Gareth Lichty, Harley DeJong, Heather Gartshore, Jaci Ryan, Kate Fraser, JK Bedford, Lorna Heidt, Rosa Loess, Cathy King, Shawnathan DeSouza-Coelho, Anvil Bastarde, Grace Aroella, Tom Emptage, Zoki Blazic, Tim Mollison, Miranda Warner, Shantell Powell and Rachael Saunders

poster model: Jaci Ryan

I'll be the mugshot with the black eyes and the bird hat.


Mar. 1st, 2008 12:55 pm
shanmonster: (Tiger claw)
Last night's photo shoot went swimmingly. My red pants were the star of the night.

Here's a sneak peek!

I made the top and belt. [ profile] f00dave made the spiked choker. [ profile] angramainyu set up the lights and snapped the shot.

shanmonster: (Tiger claw)
I look like I've been jabbed all over with sticks. I have many bruises, and can only account for about half of them (last night's breakdancing experiment). Where the other ones came from is a complete mystery to me. But despite my brutish appearance, I'm off to do a photoshoot with [ profile] angramainyu tonight.

As for the breakdance class, well, let's just say I harbour numerous doubts about my future abilities to throw down and battle. I don't think I have any potential as a breakdancer. Where some movement styles click with me right away, some do not. You can guess which category break dance is in for me. That being said, I do believe I can eventually get the basics for up rock figured out.... Except that I doubt I'll be attending any more breakdance classes. They happen during my regularly scheduled wing chun training slots. Last night's tap class, however, continued happily. Although I got lost during a few of the time signatures, I'm progressing so quickly as to utterly freak out my instructor and the advanced student in the class. So maybe I have a future in tap! I know I'm having a helluva lot of fun with it.

After dancing, I went to Ren with [ profile] schwartzung, ostensibly for a business meeting, but our contact didn't show. So we hung around for a while and took in the drag show. I feel like an alien at these events. Seeing straight men dressed up like tarty women getting hit on by other straight men confuses my brains. And watching a strip-tease with a drag queen going down to nothing but strategically placed duct tape was certainly amusing. The front looked ok, but the back really looked like an arse taped shut. And I really have to wonder about just how it would feel to yank duct tape off such sensitive skin. Yikes.

Tomorrow, I'm off to London to check out the clubs there. This is just as much for work as it is for pleasure. I've been drafted into DSoL as a promotions assistant, and some of our events will be taking place there, and we want to see the clubs firsthand. Also, I may very well be dancing there this spring.

Today, I received an email from a dancer asking me to photograph her at a show. Unfortunately, I won't be able to go to her show, but it's very flattering to be asked for specifically as a photographer. I'm used to being asked for as a model, but this is my first time being requested as a photographer. I really do enjoy taking pictures, and I'm finding it an excellent creative challenge to photograph live shows, whether they're of dancers or musicians. I'll keep it up, and maybe someday I'll even get the camera that will let me take the kind of shots I want to take.

Links? Why yes!

Blind Irishman sees with the aid of son's tooth in his eye: This is probably the strangest medical headline I've ever seen.

Somebody Needs Some Pantene: Oh Christ....

Form and Function: A series of amazing photos of some amazing women: professional athletes in a wide array of shapes and sizes.

New theory (and old equations) may explain causes of ship-sinking freak waves: "On a stormy April day in 1995, the RMS Queen Elizabeth 2 was sailing in the North Atlantic when the ocean liner dipped into a 'hole in the sea.' Out of the darkness, a towering 95-foot wave threatened to crash down upon the vessel, which the 70,000-ton ship attempted to surf in order to avoid being pummeled to the bottom of the ocean." This is the sort of thing that makes me question the wisdom of those planned floating cities.

And last, but not least, comes this: Pseudopod 79: Ice: creepy mariner fiction by [ profile] elanya. Download it now, because I think it's only available for today.
shanmonster: (Sigh....)
I have a busy week ahead of me, ranging from the mundane to the wonderful. Today's adventure begins with a visit to the dentist for a cleaning (I still have to really force myself to go, after that tooth-pulling fiasco that left me in the hospital), continues with more writing (dance organization membership stuff and promotional materials for 8 Digital), and ends with an hour of dance. Tomorrow begins with a trip to a Buddhist temple in Mississauga to celebrate the Chinese new year, continues with a dance class, and ends with kung fu training. Moving right along, I have a LARP event on Saturday where I'll be once again donning elf ears, armour, and black makeup and beating people up with a foam sword. Then I'm back to kung fu again, the next day.

I've discovered a ballet school that offers drop-in classes on Wednesday nights. It's fairly close to where I teach, so when I'm through teaching eastern dance to seniors, I can work on developing my western dance background. And then maybe at next year's On the Move conference, I'll be able to participate when the instructor wants a grande jettée.

I'm still looking for ways to increase my income without resorting to taking a job I'll loathe. Modeling is one of those ways. I noticed a photographer in Toronto is looking for alt models. Are you familiar with Santillo Photography? I am reluctant to work with new photographers until I'm familiar with their reputation. I either want to know more about him from someone I trust, or I want to be able to bring along an escort to ensure my safety.

Ready for some links? Here you go:

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks: A crazy person decides to drink and review thirteen energy drinks over the course of a weekend.

Quarter of Brits think Churchill was myth: poll: This reminds of an anecdote I heard in which a history professor was discussing WWII with a freshman class. Upon seeing utter bafflement on their faces, he asked what was wrong. "Why is it called World War Two?" asked one student. The rest of the students stared at the professor expectantly.... Talk about a serious gap in education!

Pelvic floor exercises 'help men too': Pfizer likely doesn't want people to know that doing Kegels can make Viagra unnecessary for many men.

Save Mom's Life, Kick Loose Deadly Tumor From Mom's Cervix While Still in Womb: Ki-ai!

Cap'n Danger Baby Chute: I think I should buy one of these for my nephew. What do you think, [ profile] raine_storm?

Popple Cat Dog: The most creative taxidermy I think I've ever seen--as equally disgusting as it is cool.

Volunteer in Canada and Abroad: I've wanted to do humanitarian work in other countries for most of my life. Maybe I'll be able to do it within the next five years.
shanmonster: (Tiger claw)
Lacunal 2Last night I did a photo shoot with [ profile] angramainyu for the first time in over a year. He has a gorgeous new studio, and we did a few hours of bodyscapes (like landscapes, only with, well, bodies) and some floor shots. I can't say enough good things about him. He's a real pleasure to work with, and the shots he pulls are simply beautiful. If you haven't already, go check out his website. He also gave me a copy of his newest book, Lacunal 2. I feature very heavily in this book, and am the cover model. The book isn't cheap, but is well worth the money. The book itself is of the highest quality, and so, of course, are the photos within.

Tonight I'm going to the Ren after I teach my seniors' dance class. It's another industrial/goth night. Wanna come with? I'm planning on bringing out my camera again, because I was pleased with the last set of photos I took there. Maybe, if I can get someone to sit still long enough, I'll see if I can work with human subjects.

I'm slowly but surely reorganizing my dance studio so I can fit in my new dance pole. Soon I shall be spinning up a storm and doing pull-ups in my own home. It'll be good to be able to practice at will.

Ariellah is in Toronto this weekend. Much to my dismay, I won't be attending her workshop or performing in her show. I be too po', damnit! The search for decent part-time work continues.

I'm feeling considerably better than I did last week, but my sickness has taken a disgusting turn. I now have what sounds like the chunkiest, hunkiest smoker's cough. It's revolting. I can't wait until I stop producing my own chewing gum.

Link time? Ok.

Kite to pull ship across Atlantic: It's like a sail boat, but different.

Love Bugs: NSFW. You probably don't want to click this.

License to Grill: How to get around pesky patio rules.

Drank beers, tried to stab worker: This happened a stone's throw from my home. I can't help but wonder two things: 1. Why is the guy not in jail? 2. Who brings a knife to a chainsaw fight?
shanmonster: (Don't just sing it--bring it!)
I am a zombie this morning, but the lame variety of zombie that's too tired to actively seek out brains. Instead, I just loll here in my chair with my mouth half open, hoping a brain will be good enough to fall in.

So far, it hasn't happened.

Last night, I modeled at The Renn. I wore two Jezebel Devilish Designs outfits: a cute tartan kilt dress (similar to this one, but sleeveless), and a black and red velvet corset and skirt. The show was good because no skeezy guy with a mullet tried to cop a feel. The show was good because I got to hang out backstage with a bunch of mostly nekkid hot chicks. The show was bad because said room was so cold that the hot chicks' nipples were carving lines into the concrete walls every time we had to pass one another. It was fucking c-c-c-c-COLD!

At one point, after I'd done both turns on the catwalk, there were problems with another model getting into her outfit, so I was sent out again to stall. I'm sure people were wondering why I came out again in the same outfit, but whatever... It bought the model and the dressers enough time.

By the way, Jezebel is a sweetie, and her clothes are well-made. Check out her stuff. Or if you're in Hamilton, you can see her merchandise at Crash Landing at 297 Ottawa Street North.

And now for some links....

Children's foreheads slashed in Muslim saint's name: Ritual child abuse builds character.

We Are the Web: It's an internet reminiscence fest, featuring such standbys as Peter Pan, Tron Guy, Viking Kittens and Spongmonkeys, Leslie Hall (of ugly sweater fame), Subservient Chicken, Back Dormitory Boys, and that goddamned Dancing Baby.

Gelli Baff: This just looks disgusting to me.

Cheap, safe drug kills most cancers: Sounds great, right? The bad news is it likely won't be produced because there is no patent, and therefore no profit to be made by the pharmaceutical companies.

And just in my inbox comes this little snippet which makes me very disappointed I don't live in Toronto:
Trapeze classes and core conditioning for dancers
Calling all dancers who are interested in a new movement experience!
Come feel what it's like to lift yourself up and be suspended in the air!!
Professional Aerialist Mark Segal is offering Trapeze Classes for beginners with movement experience. Classes will focus on trapeze technique and movement coordination, core and upper body strength conditioning, and supporting each other through a new learning experience. And, of course, having a good time!

With a maximum class size of 6, each person can work at an individualized level.

Classes are downtown at Queen and Bathurst, Tuesday and Thursday nights from 7:30 - 9:30 pm.
A two hour class is only $15, with weekly/drop-in sign up available.

Come join the circus!!
This is truly a spectacular and challenging new way to move.

For those of you interested in a special challenge, rope classes are also available.
For more info, contact Laura at

Mark Segal has been training in circus for the last 6 years. He has performed with Cirque Sublime, the Flying Paiges, Zero Gravity, Motus O Dance Theatre, and "The Royal Flush" which was an aerial and concept performance series last summer at The Fallsview casino.
He has also taught Silks, Rope, and Trapeze for the Toronto School of Circus Arts, and is now teaching Rope and Trapeze classes privately.

Torontonians? Let me live vicariously through you as you take this class....
shanmonster: (Default)
I've received more photos from Wednesday night's shoot, this time from Kim Taylor (NSFW).

Here they are (NSFW). )
shanmonster: (Don't just sing it--bring it!)
I just received my first photo from the shoot last night, as taken by Rick Crampton.

Nekkidness behind the cut )

I fiddled with the colour settings a bit )
shanmonster: (Peeking)
I'm paid to do things most people can't look at from work. I get paid to be naked.

I've been doing this for over fifteen years, now, and the more I do it, the more nuanced the poses become. In the beginning, I just stood up or laid down with my clothes off. Now, it's become far more involved. I incorporate elements from theatre, dance, martial arts, yoga, and calisthenics. I also copy famous poses from photographs and paintings. I understand framing, foreshadowing, and how to move to keep the right parts of myself in a thin, focused beam of light. I can switch from an expression of joy to one of horror between shots. I'm pretty darned good at my job.

Last night's photo shoot went fine. It was my first time posing for a photo class, and on the grand scheme of things, I prefer it to modelling for a drawing class. I get to move around a lot more, and extended poses are much shorter.

The class comprised of five amateur photographers, three of whom brought along model release forms. The first hour was spent watching a slide show about the history of nudes in photography. It was interesting, as some of the photos were new to me. Most of the early nudes obviously came from Tallulahs Classical Nude Paintings and Vintage Erotica, so you can create your own nude vintage slide show.

I was happy to see the works of Robert Mapplethorpe and Joel-Peter Witkin represented in the collection.

After the slide show, the students finally began shooting. I started off posing with a bright red stool (which matched my lipstick), then moved on to posing with wooden swords, a bright red fan, red flowers, brass hoops, a staff, orange maple leafs, and netting, all under a wide variety of lighting conditions. Out of all the gazillions of photos shot, surely there must be at least a few keepers.

A couple of the students gave me their email addresses, so maybe I'll find out soon enough.
shanmonster: (Don't just sing it--bring it!)
And tomorrow I shall be, once again. I'm modelling for this: Introduction to figure photography. So if you want to get some photography lessons, here's your chance. I know, I know. It's last-minute. But I only found out about it about twenty minutes ago. Good thing I had a free slot in my schedule tomorrow night.

My cramps have abated somewhat, for the moment. Let's hope I can keep them at bay throughout tomorrow, too.
shanmonster: (Peeking)
The fashion show is finally over, thank goodness. Even when they're in my own city, they're a total time suck. But the night wasn't without its entertainment value.

As I walked to the club, a bald dude halloed me with, "You must be Russian!"

"Um, excuse me?"

"I said, you must be from Russia."


"Ah, then you must be Polish, right?"

"No. Actually, I'm Inuit."

He scratched at his pate for a moment, smiled, and said, "Oh yes! They're from Holland, right?"


I wore two dresses at the show tonight. Neither of them showed my arse. This lovely green dress is the second gown I wore. I can't find the first dress anywhere online, but if all goes well, there shall be pictures.

I was always on the cusp of a wardrobe malfunction with the green gown. I think it was designed to fit someone broader across the shoulders. Whenever I lowered a shoulder, the dress would shoot precipitously off me in that direction. The whole time I modelled the dress, I kept my arms up nice and high, tribal- or flamenco-style. Who'd have thought I'd need dance skills to model a gown?

And it's a good thing I can dance. And that [ profile] adianta, the woman modelling with me, could dance, too. We ended up standing together on the stage all by ourselves for a good thirty seconds or more until the other models finally joined us. In that time, I did a lot of standing isolations. With my arms up nice and high. Go figure.

I suspect the fact that [ profile] adianta and I are dancers has something to do with us being chosen to play the part of wood nymphs for that last song. We gallivanted about and sprinkled fistfuls of glitter all over the freaking place. I still don't know if that last set was good or just plain weird. It was certainly chaotic, with ice queens and demon queens and wood nymphs and minuet-dancing couples and zombie beauty queens staggering around, crashing into one another. It was almost like being at the Jillina workshop all over again! Heh....

The first dress I wore is a strappy long gown in black with a front panel of rosy claret. As I did my little turn on the catwalk, I stopped and struck poses at several points. On one of those points, I found myself looking directly at a guy who may have had a mullet (or maybe his hair was pulled back to resemble one). I held my pose and my smile, and then I had the horrid realization that this guy seemed to think that just because I was looking at him and smiling, that I must want him.

No matter, though. I only held the pose for four seconds, then moved on.

But at the end of the night, after I finished a pose for the photographer, I walked back toward the change room and the mullet man reached over and very firmly groped my belly. I couldn't even put my arms down to do anything about it, because then I would have been half naked and there's no way I wanted to reward that unasked-for gropeage. Gah!

It was a relief to put on my homely street clothes. No stranger's ever successfully groped me while I've been wearing those.

Big Day

Nov. 29th, 2006 06:45 am
shanmonster: (Spasmolytic)
I think I'm going to go back to the salon today and find out what they will do to fix my hair. They'd better do something, because it frizzed out a lot more by the end of last night's dance class. I have a veritable grey corona, now.

Tonight, I model at Club Renn. Here's a poster for the event. I don't know what I'll do with my hair. Maybe put it in braids. I don't know what I'll do about makeup. The makeup artists shouldn't use anything on my eyes. I'm not sure if my conjunctivitis has completely cleared up or not, and wouldn't want to contaminate their makeup supply or pass on the pink grief to the other models. At the same time, I don't want to contaminate my own makeup supply, either.

Maybe I just won't model, then. My bare face will look very out of place. We'll see how it goes when I check in for my fitting.

I still have a sore throat and chronic asthma. It's been three weeks, already. Won't this plague leave me alone, already?

That being said, I did manage to do the entire choreography class last night without getting too shagged-out. I'm performing in two weeks. Jay-zus! If you want to come see me make a choreographical fool of myself, advance tickets are $7, or you pay $10 at the door. It's on Ontario street between Duke and Weber, in Corporation Square. Parking is free Sundays at the parking structure at the corner of Duke and Ontario, and the show starts at 3:30 (should be out by 5:30).

And now for some links:

Nervio: "The word could be defined as a feeling of such intense affection that one trembles or grits his teeth with restraint so as not to harm the object of his affection." I get nervio for little animals. I get a, thankfully, repressible urge to hold critters like degus in my hands and squeeze the bejeezus out of them. They're just so cute I want to squish 'em to bits (thanks, [ profile] zombienought.

Pictures of Real Jackalopes: Whoa! They really do exist! Some of them look like Cthulhu bunnies.

Plan 59: Great collection of 1950s advertising, much of it very, very creepy. Check out the Gallery of Demonic Tots for some prime examples.

Suspension of Disbelief: Bob Averill was expelled from art school for not believing in leprechauns. In fact, they even want him to go in for psychiatric evaluation. By the way, his blog, Portland Atheist, is a good read.

And what is this world coming to when Paris Hilton is the comparatively classy one? Britney Spears really wants you to see her crotch: NSFW, of course. The irony here is Paris is trying to hold Britney's legs closed.
shanmonster: (Don't just sing it--bring it!)
They're not the best photos (nasty flash, and all), and the outfit is way too small for me, but if you're so inclined, you can see what I looked like at the fet-night fashion show here. I'm the one with my arse hanging out. Way out.

What'm I gonna do with all that junk, all that junk hanging outta my trunk?

I felt more naked in that outfit than I do with nude modelling. Go figure.

I'm very disappointed I'm not at the ATS session right now. I mean, I'm the one who instigated the event in the first place. That sucks so hard. Bah, I say. BAH! I hope the others are having fun. Maybe they'll figure out some structure for the practice, and I won't have to do any more planning. I'm a dancer, not an organizer.

And I just received an email from a dancer in Montreal who wants to know if I travel to give floorwork workshops. About a year and a half ago, [ profile] oceanfiretribal was talking about having me travel around to give sword dance workshops. I'm sure this is far more feasible now than it was then. Transportation is the biggest issue. I rely upon buses and the kindness of strangers to get around.

I need a manager or an assistant, damnit. Wanna do it for me? I can't pay you in money, but I can pay you in dance classes, personal training, and ummy-nummy baked goods (one of these things is not like the other....).

I baked muffins yesterday. The recipe is a good one, so I'll share.

Banana Chocolate Muffins

3 Shredded Wheat biscuits
1 cup milk
1/3 cup vegetable oil (I used olive oil)
1 1/2 cups lightly packed brown sugar (I used demerara sugar)
2 eggs
2 cups flour (I use whole wheat)
1 tbsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1 tsp cinnamon
2 ripe mashed bananas
1/2 cup chocolate chips (I used peanut butter chips this time, but raspberry chocolate chips are my favourite for this recipe)

Heat oven to 400 F (200 C).

Crush the biscuits into fine shreds. Pour milk over top and set aside.

Cream oil and sugar. Add eggs and cream until light and fluffy.

Add Shredded Wheat mixture to egg mixture. Still until combined.

Combine dry ingredients and stir into wet mixture. Stir until just moistened. Add banana and chocolate chips.

Spoon batter into greased muffin tin, filling each cup to the top.

Bake for 25 minutes. Cool on rack, and store in an airtight container. Muffins freeze well. Makes 12 big muffins, or about 18 regular-sized muffins.


Link time!

An Island of Ghosts: Hashima was once the most densely populated city in the world--there were 1,391 people per hectare. Now it's a total ghost town. You can view some wonderful photos of Hashima here.

Learning Spins: Good training advice on Rachel Brice's forum on how to prevent dizziness and nausea. I really need to work on this. It's one of my weak areas, for sure.

And on that note, I'm off to bake lemon poppyseed cake for [ profile] real_bethy's welcome back party today. I might make an apple pie, too. We shall see.
shanmonster: (Da Vinci ShanMonster)
I don't mind the act of runway modelling, but I do mind the timesuck. Last night, I modelled at 10:30. But I had to meet up with the other models at 4. I didn't get home until almost 2 in the morning. That's a lot of time for one little (and I do mean little) outfit.

I wore the cheekiest skirt ever. The bottom half of my bottom was hanging out on full display. Seriously, my swimsuits cover far more.

A couple of the models wore waist-cinchers with no tops, but electrical tape on their boobs. As we lined up to sashay down the catwalk, I overheard a bouncer tell the bartender, "I love my job!"

Theoretically, pictures are forthcoming.

Hamilton is a filthy city obscured by smog. Everything I saw of the city made me think of the bad parts of Toronto. My asthma is in effect right now, and I was only there the one night. I think I'd rather not go back there again. I hate all this coughing and wheezing.

On the way back, my driver got lost in Hamilton, going the wrong way. That got straightened out. We saw a car rear-end another just outside Hamilton (not severely, though). And then, somehow, my driver got turned around again, and I, the one not from this area unlike the driver and the other passenger, was the one who noted we were actually in Mississauga, which is very much going the wrong way. If I hadn't said anything, who knows when they would have turned around? I'm guessing the CN Tower might have clued them in, but I'm not sure about that....

Sorry I didn't get to say goodbye to you, [ profile] redlyra. I didn't get a chance because I only found out I could get an early ride home about 30 seconds before they left.

One of the other models at the show was a professional model who'd done a show in Milan for Mossimo's spring line. She's six feet tall, and had to keep her weight to 115 pounds or under. Jayzus.


I just went to make myself a cup of tea, and as I was pouring milk into it, I realized it wasn't milk at all, but orange juice! I tried the tea, but it just didn't taste good. So now I'm making another cup, and this one will taste right.
shanmonster: (Peeking)
Tomorrow, I'm getting all tarted up for a fashion show at Sin City in Hamilton. Info. behind the cut.... )
shanmonster: (Default)
(That's a quotation from last night's welcome home bash for Chris.)


If you were to accidentally send a bunch of naked photos of yourself to someone, who would be the worst person to send 'em to?

In my case, it's my Mom, who's a super-prude of a Jehovah's Witness.


I don't think she's sufficiently computer savvy to know how to access the images. I think I'm safe.


In other news, I did a six-hour shoot with Vera and [ profile] snowy_kathryn chez [ profile] angramainyu today. We did a lot of experimental stuff, and much of it worked. I think we got some great colour shots of me and my purple leather dance costume, plus lots of good group shots, and a bunch of nifty photos involving tossing fishing nets around. I'm looking forward to seeing them (and not sharing them with Mom (well, aside from the dance costume ones--she'd appreciate those)).

It's been a long, full day, and it's not even over yet. I game tonight.

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