Random Distractions

I saw a video with f00dave last night. It's some sort of British night-time edutainment show, and it was about 101 most embarassing sexual accidents. I was both amused and perturbed to realize I already knew the details on at least 75% of the stories. However, one of the examples was completely new to me. Apparently, one man had a particularly unique fetish: he liked to eat Barbie heads, and masturbate while shitting them out. I saw an x-ray of this guy's torso. A couple dozen of them were stuck in his digestive tract. Just how does someone go about discovering this is what it takes to get them off, anyhow?

Ahem. I think I'll change the subject.

Mist, Ghost or Computer Graphics?: Check out the second link. It's not your typical car commercial.

I'll be attending Navrati this weekend. It is my first-ever Hindu festival, and I expect it will be very colourful and interesting. If at all possible, I'd like to join in with the dancing. snowy_kathryn sent me a couple of links: Navratri - The Hindu Festival and Navrati.

The Big Shocker: I love the specs: "Not yet obscene to the general public." If you don't know what the shocker is, go here. And yes, both links are worksafe, since the shocker is "not yet obscene to the general public." I gotta get that phrase on a tshirt....

Quadriplegic Serving 10-Day Sentence For First-Time Marijuana Charge Dies In DC Jail: What's even more disturbing is there are people out there who would say, "Serves him right."

Ron's First Goatse.jpg: A photo essay about Ron Jeremy seeing the goatse man for the first time. Believe it or not, this is completely worksafe.

Now that's what I call a chainsaw!

Ursula le Guin's Earthsea novels are being made into television miniseries. I'm feeling rather trepidatious about this. I'll bet it sucks, but hope it won't.

Hentai dictionary: Japanese perversions, fetishes and AV slang: Remember, knowledge is power. I'm not sure what kind of power this knowledge holds, but I'm sure it's pretty specialized (thanks, Daze Reader).

Demonbuster.com: I haven't been here in a couple of years. It's nice to see it's just as crazy a place as ever (thanks, snowy_kathryn).

Hubcap Creatures: They're quite lovely, actually!

Internal Titanium Bra: It's a new breast enhancement technique, and although it does indeed give a perky tilt to the tatas, it also leaves a seamline. Would you really want a screen shelf attached to your ribs? Yes, this link contains boobies.

Victorian Medical Curiosities: When I was a kid, I desperately wanted a copy of this book. Now I can just look at the pictures on the In-tar-web.

Amateur pyrotechnics: What morons.

Ballerina Toni Bentley has written a manifesto on anal sex. Here's an excerpt. I am very fond of her first book (Winter Season: A Dancer's Journal). I guess now I'll have to get myself a copy of The Surrender : An Erotic Memoir. It doesn't look like a typical dance memoir, that's for sure!

Modern Ruins 2: I like post-apocalyptic stories and imagery. I also love disaster movies. Of course, I also loved fire and brimstone stories as a kid, and one of my favourite childhood movies was Towering Inferno. I guess I haven't changed all that much.

Eurobad '74: It's awful, but I really want this bathroom. cynebeah would understand (thanks, hellsphreak).

Meme: The Parody

I'm going to write fifteen things about fifteen people on my friends list. It's up to you to guess which one applies to who.

1. You always were a cunt, and I'm glad your monkey died.
2. I wish I were as smart as you. It's not everyone who can swing both a Nobel Prize and the dean's list.
3. Don't worry. I won't tell anyone about the herpes.
4. You dumbass. Bacon does not belong in a vegan diet.
5. No matter what you think, Spiderman does not qualify as capital-L literature.
6. I'd rather read the ingredients list on Preparation-H than glance at even one more of your journal entries.
7. You inspire me.
8. You have the biggest, most voluptuous boobs I've ever seen. You could be the poster child for one of those HGH spams.
9. It isn't just paranoia. I really do want to scalp you with a rusty paperclip.
10. Damn, you be fine, girl!
11. If I were ever to become an adulteress, it would most certainly be with you.
12. Someday, if I try really, really hard, I may be as funny as you.
13. Soap is a good thing. Try it! You'll like it. I promise....
14. Someone has to tell you that whenever you recite pi, you get the fourteenth digit wrong every time.
15. You have a sweet ass.

Any guesses?

Sick and Tired

Well, this is new. For the past three years, pretty much every time I attend a dance workshop, I'm sick throughout the whole thing, whether it's a flu, cold, or megrim. This time, I was sick before the workshop, but not during. And now that it's over, I'm sick again. I woke up with a sore throat and a stuffed-up head. At least the timing was fortuitous this time around.

Kung fu on Tuesday was difficult. Although the class was much easier than usual (no dragons, for one!), I had to go and sit down at one point because my asthma was freaking out on me. My balance was absolutely shot, and during the slow-motion kicking drills, I teetered around even worse than a rank newbie. Something tells me my performance tonight will be similar, if I even make it to class. Being sick sucks arse.

I won't be doing any modelling today, as previously tentatively scheduled. So I guess it's a housefrau day. The dishes are frightening me, and I'm sure there's a livingroom somewhere under all that dance workshop detritus. And then I get to do yet more homework, this time on the misappropriation of native religions for New Age beliefs. Since I think religion is silly no matter how you slice it, I think my write-up will probably be a bit different than the others from my class.

Oh yeah, and I really have to get down to the store one last time to clean out all the stuff and dispense the final cheques. I'll probably have to hold off until tomorrow for that.

And now, for your viewing pleasure, here are some entertaining naughty Japanese prints. No matter how cute cartoon Sumo wrestlers are, these pictures just aren't worksafe. Here ya go: [1 | 2]

Ugh

I'm a bad housewife. I'm only halfway done the dishes, and I'm already pooped out. I'm taking a break out of sheer laziness. Here's a quickie link dump, and then I'm ( back in the kitchen. )